Korean giving and receiving verbs require careful attention to perspective and direction of benefit. The choice of verb depends on who benefits from the action and the social relationship between people.
Basic Perspective Concepts
Two Key Questions
When using giving/receiving verbs, ask:
- Who benefits from the action?
- What is the social relationship?
Direction of Benefit
Action flows FROM giver TO receiver:
- Giver → Receiver
- Higher status → Lower status
- Lower status → Higher status
Core Verbs by Perspective
주다 (juda) - To Give
Perspective: Giver's viewpoint (neutral/downward)
Use when:
- I give to someone (equal or younger)
- Someone gives to another person
- Giving to equals or those below
Examples:
- 나는 친구에게 책을 줘요 (I give a book to my friend)
- 언니가 동생에게 선물을 줘요 (Older sister gives present to younger)
- 선생님이 학생에게 책을 줘요 (Teacher gives book to student)
받다 (batda) - To Receive
Perspective: Receiver's viewpoint
Use when:
- I receive from someone
- Someone receives from another
- Focus on who gets something
Examples:
- 나는 친구에게서 책을 받아요 (I receive a book from my friend)
- 동생이 언니에게서 선물을 받아요 (Younger receives present from older)
- 학생이 선생님께 책을 받아요 (Student receives book from teacher)
드리다 (deurida) - To Give (Honorific)
Perspective: Giver's viewpoint (upward, humble)
Use when:
- I give to someone respected
- Giving to higher status
- Humble stance toward receiver
Examples:
- 나는 선생님께 선물을 드려요 (I give present to teacher)
- 아들이 부모님께 돈을 드려요 (Son gives money to parents)
- 직원이 사장님께 보고서를 드려요 (Employee gives report to boss)
Particle Differences
With 주다/드리다 (Giving)
Receiver particle: 에게/한테/께
- 친구에게 줘요 (give to friend)
- 선생님께 드려요 (give to teacher - honorific)
With 받다 (Receiving)
Giver particle: 에게서/한테서/께
- 친구에게서 받아요 (receive from friend)
- 선생님께 받아요 (receive from teacher)
Note: Often shortened to 에게/한테 in casual speech
Social Hierarchy and Verb Choice
Giving Downward or Horizontally
Use 주다:
Parent → Child: 부모님이 아이에게 줘요
Teacher → Student: 선생님이 학생에게 줘요
Friend → Friend: 친구가 친구에게 줘요
Older → Younger: 언니가 동생에게 줘요
Giving Upward
Use 드리다:
Child → Parent: 아이가 부모님께 드려요
Student → Teacher: 학생이 선생님께 드려요
Employee → Boss: 직원이 상사에게 드려요
Younger → Elder: 동생이 언니에게 드려요 (sometimes)
Receiving (Any Direction)
Use 받다:
From anyone: 친구/선생님/부모님께 받아요
Upward: 아이가 부모님께 받아요
Downward: 부모님이 아이에게서 받아요
Horizontal: 친구가 친구에게서 받아요
With -아/어 주다/드리다 Pattern
-아/어 주다 (Do for Someone)
Direction: Neutral or downward benefit
Use when helping:
- Friends (equal status)
- Younger people
- Those of lower status
- Generically "for someone"
Examples:
- 친구를 도와줘요 (Help a friend)
- 동생한테 가르쳐 줘요 (Teach younger sibling)
- 학생을 도와줘요 (Help a student - teacher speaking)
-아/어 드리다 (Do for Someone - Honorific)
Direction: Upward benefit (humble)
Use when helping:
- Elders
- Parents
- Teachers
- Bosses
- Customers
- Any respected person
Examples:
- 선생님을 도와드려요 (Help the teacher)
- 부모님께 요리해 드려요 (Cook for parents)
- 할머니를 모셔다 드려요 (Escort grandma)
Perspective Shifts in Conversation
Same Action, Different Verbs
Scenario: You give a book to your teacher
Your perspective (giving upward):
- 저는 선생님께 책을 드렸어요 (I gave a book to teacher)
Teacher's perspective (receiving):
- 선생님은 학생에게서 책을 받으셨어요 (Teacher received book from student)
Third party describing:
- 학생이 선생님께 책을 드렸어요 (Student gave book to teacher)
Common Situations and Verb Choice
At Home
Parent to child:
- 엄마가 아이에게 용돈을 줘요 (Mom gives allowance to child)
Child to parent:
- 아이가 엄마께 꽃을 드려요 (Child gives flowers to mom)
Between siblings (equal age):
- 오빠가 동생에게 책을 줘요 (Older brother gives book to younger)
At Work
Boss to employee:
- 사장님이 직원에게 보너스를 줘요 (Boss gives bonus to employee)
Employee to boss:
- 직원이 사장님께 보고서를 드려요 (Employee gives report to boss)
At School
Teacher to student:
- 선생님이 학생에게 숙제를 줘요 (Teacher gives homework to student)
Student to teacher:
- 학생이 선생님께 선물을 드려요 (Student gives present to teacher)
Perspective Mistakes to Avoid
❌ Wrong: Using 주다 When Giving Upward
Incorrect: 저는 선생님에게 선물을 줬어요 Why wrong: You should use 드리다 for respected persons
Correct: 저는 선생님께 선물을 드렸어요
❌ Wrong: Using 드리다 for Friends
Incorrect: 친구한테 책 드렸어 Why wrong: 드리다 is only for respected persons
Correct: 친구한테 책 줬어
❌ Wrong: Wrong Particle with 받다
Incorrect: 선생님한테 책을 받았어요 Why wrong: Missing "from" nuance (should be 에게서)
Correct: 선생님께 책을 받았어요 (or 선생님에게서)
Visual Direction Guide
Giving (주다) - Horizontal/Downward
Me (equal) → Friend: 친구에게 줘요
Parent → Child: 아이에게 줘요
Teacher → Student: 학생에게 줘요
Giving (드리다) - Upward
Me → Elder: 어르신께 드려요
Child → Parent: 부모님께 드려요
Student → Teacher: 선생님께 드려요
Receiving (받다) - Any Direction
Me ← Friend: 친구에게서 받아요
Me ← Elder: 선생님께 받아요
Child ← Parent: 부모님께 받아요
Complex Scenarios
Three-Way Giving
Scenario: You ask a friend to give something to your teacher
Your request to friend:
- 선생님께 이거 드려 줄래? (Can you give this to the teacher for me?)
- 드려 (give upward to teacher)
- 줄래 (asking favor of friend)
Friend agrees:
- 알았어, 선생님께 드릴게 (Okay, I'll give it to the teacher)
Customer Service
Staff perspective (giving to customer):
- 고객님께 메뉴를 드리겠습니다 (I'll give menu to customer)
Customer perspective (receiving):
- 메뉴를 받았어요 (I received the menu)
Summary Table
| Verb | Direction | Social Relation | Particle | Example |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 주다 | → Equal/Down | Neutral | 에게/한테 | 친구에게 줘요 |
| 드리다 | → Up | Respectful | 께 | 선생님께 드려요 |
| 받다 | ← Any | Any | 에게서/께 | 친구에게서 받아요 |
Quick Decision Tree
When giving:
- Is the receiver someone you respect? → Use 드리다
- Is the receiver equal or younger? → Use 주다
When receiving:
- Always use 받다 (perspective doesn't change verb)
When doing favors (-아/어 주다/드리다):
- Is the person you're helping respected? → Use -아/어 드리다
- Is the person equal or younger? → Use -아/어 주다
Key Takeaways
✅ 주다: Give to equal/lower status (neutral)
✅ 드리다: Give to higher status (humble)
✅ 받다: Receive from anyone (receiver's view)
✅ Particles matter: 에게 (to), 에게서 (from), 께 (honorific)
✅ Direction of respect: Determines 주다 vs 드리다
✅ Same with -아/어 pattern: 주다 vs 드리다 for favors
Understanding perspective in Korean giving and receiving is crucial for appropriate and natural speech. Always consider the social relationship and direction of benefit when choosing between 주다, 드리다, and 받다.