Korean has a complex politeness system built into its grammar. Unlike English, where politeness is expressed through word choice and tone, Korean uses different verb endings, vocabulary, and particles based on social relationships.
Core Concept
Two main categories:
- 존댓말 (jondaenmal) - Polite/formal speech
- 반말 (banmal) - Casual/informal speech
The system reflects social hierarchy, age, intimacy, and context.
Three Main Speech Levels
1. 합니다체 (hamnida-che) - Formal Polite
Endings: -ㅂ니다/습니다 (statements), -ㅂ니까?/습니까? (questions)
Use with:
- Strangers
- Superiors in formal settings
- Presentations and speeches
- News broadcasts
- Business settings
Example: 저는 학생입니다 (I am a student)
2. 해요체 (haeyo-che) - Informal Polite
Endings: -아요/어요/여요 (all sentence types)
Use with:
- Strangers in casual settings
- Acquaintances
- People slightly older
- Service interactions
- Most daily conversations with respect
Example: 저는 학생이에요 (I am a student)
3. 반말 (banmal) - Casual/Informal
Endings: -아/어/여, -ㄴ/는다 (statements), no polite markers
Use with:
- Close friends same age
- Family members (younger or same age)
- Children
- People younger than you (with permission)
Example: 나 학생이야 (I'm a student)
Key Factors for Choosing Level
Age (나이)
Older than you: Use polite speech (해요체 or 합니다체) Same age: Start polite, may switch to 반말 after agreement Younger than you: Can use 반말, but context matters
Social Status (사회적 지위)
Higher status: Always use polite speech
- Boss, teacher, professor
- Senior colleagues
- Customer (in service)
Equal status: Context-dependent Lower status: Can use 반말, but often better to stay polite
Relationship (관계)
Intimate/Close: Can use 반말 Professional: Use polite speech Family: Varies by family culture and specific relationship
Context (상황)
Formal settings: 합니다체
- Presentations
- Interviews
- Official meetings
- Ceremonies
Casual settings: 해요체 or 반말
- Coffee shop
- Friends gathering
- Casual conversation
Comparison Table
| Level | Name | Ending | Formality | Usage |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Formal Polite | 합니다체 | -ㅂ니다/습니다 | Highest | Formal situations, speeches |
| Informal Polite | 해요체 | -아요/어요 | Medium | Daily polite conversation |
| Casual | 반말 | -아/어, -ㄴ다 | Lowest | Close friends, family |
Sentence Examples Across Levels
Statement: "I go to school"
합니다체: 학교에 갑니다 해요체: 학교에 가요 반말: 학교에 가 / 학교 가
Question: "Do you eat?"
합니다체: 먹습니까? 해요체: 먹어요? 반말: 먹어? / 먹니?
Request: "Please read"
합니다체: 읽으십시오 해요체: 읽어요 / 읽으세요 반말: 읽어
Social Dynamics
Starting Relationships
Default: Always start with polite speech (해요체 or 합니다체) Never assume: Don't switch to 반말 without permission Wait for cue: Let the older/higher status person suggest 반말
반말 Permission (말 놓기)
When someone suggests switching to 반말:
Older person says: "말 편하게 해요" (Speak comfortably) Response: "감사합니다" (Thank you)
Between peers: "우리 말 놓을까?" (Shall we speak casually?)
Mixed Groups
Problem: What if friends include someone requiring polite speech? Solution: Everyone uses polite speech, or split into appropriate speech levels
Important Rules
Don't Mix Levels
Wrong: 학교에 가요 + 밥 먹어 (mixing 해요체 and 반말) Right: Consistent level throughout conversation
Exception: Can use polite endings with casual vocabulary when switching gradually
Respect Override
Even with permission to use 반말, maintain respect in:
- Serious discussions
- When person is upset
- In front of others requiring polite speech
Service Language
Workers use polite speech to customers, but customers can use 해요체 (not 반말) to workers.
Beyond Basic Levels
Honorific Speech (높임말)
Purpose: Show special respect to subject of sentence Markers: -시- (subject honorific)
Example:
- Regular: 선생님이 가요 (Teacher goes)
- Honorific: 선생님이 가세요 (Teacher goes - honored)
Humble Speech (낮춤말)
Purpose: Lower yourself to elevate the listener Markers: Special humble verbs
Example:
- Regular: 저는 먹어요 (I eat)
- Humble: 제가 먹겠습니다 (I will eat - humble)
Regional and Family Variations
Standard Seoul Speech
The system described above is standard Seoul Korean.
Regional Dialects
- Busan: Different 반말 endings
- Jeolla: Unique polite particles
- Gyeongsang: Different intonation patterns
Family Speech
Each family has its own culture:
- Some families: Everyone uses 반말
- Traditional families: Strict hierarchy maintained
- Modern families: Mix of styles
Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Using 반말 Too Early
Problem: Using casual speech with someone requiring respect Result: Considered very rude Fix: Always start polite, wait for permission
Mistake 2: Wrong Level Consistency
Problem: Mixing 해요체 and 합니다체 randomly Result: Sounds awkward and unnatural Fix: Pick one level and maintain it
Mistake 3: Over-Politeness
Problem: Using 합니다체 with close friends Result: Creates distance, sounds stiff Fix: Match the relationship level
Age-Related Usage
Same Age (동갑)
First meeting: Use 해요체 After agreement: Switch to 반말 Phrase: "우리 친구 할까?" (Shall we be friends? - implies 반말)
One Year Difference
Technically: Younger uses 존댓말, older can use 반말 Reality: Often both use 반말 if close School: Same grade often uses 반말 regardless of months difference
Significant Gap
Younger: Must use polite speech Older: Can choose, but staying polite shows warmth
Workplace Hierarchy
Company Context
To superiors: 합니다체 (very formal) or 해요체 (formal but friendly) To peers: 해요체 (safe) or 반말 (if agreed) To juniors: 반말 possible, but 해요체 more professional
Team Culture
- Traditional companies: Strict 합니다체
- Modern startups: Often 해요체 or agreed 반말
- International companies: More relaxed
Transitioning Between Levels
Gradual Shifts
Not abrupt switches, but gradual transitions:
Stage 1: 합니다체 (very formal) Stage 2: 해요체 (polite but warmer) Stage 3: Mixed (반말 verbs with 해요 occasionally) Stage 4: Full 반말
Situational Switching
Can switch back to polite:
- In front of superiors
- In serious discussions
- When upset or showing displeasure
Learning Strategy
For Beginners
Start with: 해요체 (most versatile) Avoid: 반말 (until relationships clear) Practice: 합니다체 for formal situations
Progression
- Master 해요체 endings
- Learn to recognize 합니다체 (listening)
- Understand 반말 (listening to friends)
- Gradually use 합니다체 (formal contexts)
- Use 반말 only when appropriate
Key Points
- ✅ Three levels: 합니다체 (formal), 해요체 (polite), 반말 (casual)
- ✅ Default: Always start polite with new people
- ✅ Factors: Age, status, relationship, context all matter
- ✅ Consistency: Don't mix levels within same context
- ✅ Permission: Wait for cue before switching to 반말
- ✅ Respect: Even with 반말 permission, show respect in tone
- ✅ Practice: 해요체 is safest for learners
The politeness system is central to Korean communication. While complex, it becomes intuitive with exposure. When in doubt, stay polite—it's always safer to be too polite than too casual.